EDWARD CULLEN..... W.O.W

@@ i feel dyspnea , dsyphagia, dysomnia, hypernerveousness, and rare tremor..ohhhh Edward Cullen... you're my holy favorite disease@@

** I'm mad about Edward Culllen.. O.M.G I'm falling for E.C**

i juz watched TWILIGHT wid sis and frens few days ago. BLIMEY!! it's so much romantic and took my breath. Can you juz believe that i could feel my heart beat faster when E.C ( Robert pattinson ) got closer to Bella swan then kissed her gently. D.A.M.N ! my blood rushed , i was shaking and i seemed paralyzed. i felt it's me whom Edward Cullen kissed. oh oh.. i felt so much nervous that i could hardly breathe. so i juz sat still. no more talking, but yes more shaking.

That movie !! gave sum huge effect to my normal behavior. I didnt finish my dinner anyway as i still felt bit nausea for the nervousness. it's no OK people!! if not having meals finished. I muz be unwell. maybe i'm pathologically in love with E.C now. Edward Cullen.. you're at the top of my lungs ..

i couldnt sleep for nights since E.C always popped in my mind. IT's really like a scene in twilight the movie which E.C stood and stared at Bella sleeping.hahahaha( too much rite??). well then i juz could sleep @ 2 am then ( averagely). so i made an extra activity before sleeping which is to listen PANIC AT THE DISCO 's pretty odd album. i 've been Bella swan with wildest imagination in head.well, the more i tried to close my eyes, the more E.C enchanted me (( heyy you im here .. what we're gonna do then?? *teasing smile**. ----- OOOOHH MY GOD))

my sis's playing on 1 MUse's song which is one of the scene back sound in twilight.the scence in which EC and Cullen family(whole CULLEN )) played the base ball in such utter dramatically thundered field(or whatever it is). OH MY DEAR! i juz wanna be Bella SWan for all time! she played wid Cullen Family!! wth she's wid Emmet, Carlisle, Esme, Rosaline, Jasper, Alice! * looks with high grade jealousy*

under all enchantments.. I dunno whom i actually fall in love with. RObert or Edward?? there's sum dimension , i dunno, it's like there aint no differences between Edward and Robert. they're juz G..O.R.G.E.O.U.S .both are so deep, profound, firm and anything but romantic and endearing!!.i dun think vampire or werewolves are fake! i juz need it to be real. hehe. so i'm now obsessed of Edward Cullen,well maybe Cullen Family, well maybe , VAMPIRE or other walking dead body and awesome creature.. blood sucker .. hahaha

this is my insanity of Edward Cullen. He's a sweetest disorder!
4 things that i really believe in :

1st . Edward Cullen is a vampire

2nd. there's sum part of him - i dunno how dominant it is- that is really starving for my blood.

3rd. i fall in love

4th. i wanna spend my immortal life with him ( anyway.. it's from me hehe )

soooooooooooooooooooo under the tropical rain... i myself leave all fantasy trapped in mind. I love Edward Cullen so much..

ME : 1st arrow -> i want EC kizes this lips
2nd arrow-> i want EC to suck my blood in this part ( vena jugulare's neck)

EC: *rolls eyes* whata hell this girls's thinking of ?? oh na ah!! my canine change shorter

canine-> abrupt patholigical change in canine due to this moral-less thought of that girl eeer me

yaaaaaaaaaaaaay... EXAMS finished..

yaaaaaay!! after 2 weeks in the hives of exams, im now breathing easy. nothing much happened in this week. it's juz a flat week ever. i have 1 day on and 1 day off. so , what's interesting in it? hehe. i juz spent more time in home sweet home to study harder. i dun wanna delay my winning on this oral biomedicine block that i tend to not having a remedy exam later. i juz wanna win now!!

in this fresh air of December , what i wanna do is juz to enjoy sum days remains before passing through the next learning block, which is DENTAL CONSERVATION.ewwww, i can imagine what im gonna work with. teeth? composite as restoration material? more clinical stuffs ? more works with dental chair? new glasses maybe to help the vision in actualizing the restoration site and shape? more new books? tougher mental? oh oh.. i told you before that i already step up to a complex 2nd level in dental learning in this univ.hehe it's actually what i think of.hehe dunno for others.

let's take a seat for awhile... hmmm HAPPY ADHAAAAAAAAA!!!! hehe happy kurban.. well, i miss my family out there. they muz have a joyful moment in granny's house. they will eat more beef or mutton from family qurban , laugh for elder cousin's joke, get busy to babysit my hyperactive nephew, share the stories bout recent activities, or maybe talk bout me and sis who are there.huhu. in other space ( haha) , i and sis maybe will only spend adha wid ordinary stuffs in here.

hmm. i got no words to elaborate more then folks..

so then.. maybe.. I LOVE PANIC AT THE DISCO!!
this boys always make me happier with their pretty odd

confused of what i gotta do with this post.soooo hm, the list yea the list * throw me your shoes and tomatos please*

"yea the list hmm yeeaa. "
im so damn uncreative these days .really!! I already made 3 drafts so far in this 3 weeks to publish . yeaaa... why i only saved 'em?? why didn't i juz press publish-post-button ? well, coz the contents are soooooo lame people!! in 1 draft i told bout friends disturbing me while I'm working with this blog.so what's fun in it?? . In another post i wrote about anything but I'm myself confused of ( confused?? yeas me too ma'am). it's all bout unstructured story ohhh that's so lousy. in 1 sentence i wrote about this and another next sentence i wrote about that. sooo what's fun in it?? (once again) . huhu .I'm now making myself clear that I'm so uncreative even if i have much things to tell bout. therefore to make this post manageable , i gotta make the list , hm yea the list,, what kinda list?? juz check it out..

what happen to you during NOVEMBER-now ??

1. Nothing much *try to recall*. the big thing is I was hospitalized for 4 days coz of the respiratory infection. well , i never guez the disease that brought me to hospital is RESPIRATORY INFECTION. i thought it was Dengue Fever symptom. i had very high fever and some DMF clinical features before, so when i had my blood examined, i trully believe that my trombocytes muz be reducing. But, some hours later i juz found out the result was OK. my trombocytes number was still controllable, it's only leukocytes number that kinda higher which means that there sum INFECTION existed. I got no idea for abit first for i got hospitalized juz b coz of respiratory infection?? which i always could handle myself. for that time,,, i was really sure that i juz needed to give up. hehehe. soooo.. during this hospitalizing , i already took 4 times blood test and sum dehydration management. by this stupid self-diagnosing , i made my mom flew to here hehehe.

2. I had my appetite affected for sort after being hospitalized. IT'S A DEAL peopleeee!! if i have no-OK appetite I'm sure that I muz be unhealthy at that time. soo yea i believed i juz had serious respiratory infection 2-3 weeks ago.

3. MOM CAME and treated me for over a week.. oh oh, I felt so much guilty of this dramatic self-diagnosing.

4. I gained 3 kgs after passing BAD APPETITE TRIAL. huhuuhu :( it's like a revenge helloooooo... but the unanswered question is why i can easily gain the weight ???? * asking to GOD and ANGEL* please answer pleasee

5. I had so many work to do in campus since i didn't do any activities for 1 week. soooo when i came to class for the first time after having the home-good-rest, i felt that i was a slow runner. come on!! when everyone in class already understood bout another topic of discussion or lecture , i juz gave a nod !!! som now I'm trying so hard to ruuuuuuuuuuun!! with all of my heart , lung, liver, kidney,....., and whatever.hehe

6. I Love sis's fashion game in her laptop.hehe. it's amusing anyway..and wasting more time

7. I had some patients in my skills labs. that's like a " WHOAAA" for me since i really thought that i should act like a real young dentist to do intra oral examinations and other investigation that in the end i gotta give a diagnose and treatment planning. WHOOOAA

8. I bought some cool books. well, yea.. i have 8-waiting-books-to-read , tho. well, this is the thing that i really hate moz in myself. i want alot but finish less ( hope,,,, it only happens in this case, never hope in every aspect of my life.. ewwwww it totally screws up)

9. I had tight discusion schedule for my reasearch paper. I take herbal anyway to make up. it's sambiloto ( frankly,,, i juz dunno the outlook of this herbal hahahaha, but at least my friends know) :P

10. november was mad season.................

ciao

the best doodle i ever painted

tittle: ANGELIC TOOTH.... the product of boredom
original design : ESTI

very late post hehe

well, finally i found a way back to my blog home.it's over 3 months that i didn't come OL as much as i used to.if i could recall, it might be from my holiday( or before) to this very fresh november. hehe. well, i have much to tell. my holiday was very great!!!!! my umrah was supeeeeeeeeeeer!!! my raya was very greeeeaaat too!!! my everything is more than OKKKKK!! i dunno what to start to tell bout. it's a pleasure and eager to share everything that i need into this very late post.

-MY UMRAH-

i gotta acknowledge that this year is such an enlightenment year for me. GOD , ALLAH, still loves me alot that i can make much greater good thing to myself. during my super Great Umrah, i got lotta things to learn and get aware.
I was not A safe one!!!
i believe that i wasn't the safe one. i f i were still in my very gross track ( i know it sounds too much for the gross one) , i would be lost further in a dark and dirty way of life. i juz realized this thing during my umrah. The MISTRUST of God, ALLAH, once , was only a worst product of a wrong overgeneralizing in the way of thinking. all i need to do is juz to fix everything. i now fully BELIEVE in the magnificence of GOD, ALLAH.
Umrah brought me to the light which i should have found it long time ago without going to UMRAH first. what a Bitch i was , to deny all of the bless and grace. sometimes i feel so sorry to me, myself, to realize i wasnt OK, i wasnt safe. some confusion grew in some term. I wanna save me, myself by now. i have to be a better person in all the way. semangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!
entirely.., my UMRAH process is magnificent!! from the places where we visited to the people i met and helped me and exactly super valuable trip. i will attach sum pics that i took. here come....

heraa cave ( at the top of a hill ((the middle one))

the copy of 1st qoran written in othman dinasty ( the real one's written on the dates leaves )

it;s nearby my hotel.

kuba mosque ( 1st mosque that Rasul built in medina)

- my HOLIDAY-

My holiday was great!!! super!! i could spend more times wid my big family. i was juz preety startled ,once, when i saw my nephew , RAYHAN ( i already placed sum pic when he's months old) . He's juz growing ( of coz he is!!). i felt that im getting much older to see how fast my nephews , niece, lil cousins grow. oh dear!!

well actually i had lotta fun in my holiday. i had UMrah, i went back to my hometown, i visited some beaches, i went to the new zoo newly opened in a very hot spot near the beach, i had more more quality time with granny, parents , all big family who always be there when i need, who always love me anytime. i mizzzzzzzzzz them so bad now.

- MY MUDIK and LEBARAN-

it's very great!! after going back to yogya for over 3 weeks, i then got my LEBARAN holiday which i really wait wid my auspicious heart. it's great and great!!! what i really wait for is home-visiting time, i love to visit my family's houses ( HUGER FAMILY), my parents's friends' houses, and other.i gained more weight during Lebaran as i ate more cookies, more cakes, more sugar. huhu. it's nice!! cant wait to see another one. :)

- PRESENT-

well , i have the real life back to me...... im now 3rd year student who really needs to spend more time in library and labs. 3rd year is determinant stage in degree, come on!! i start buying more more equipments for restoration , extraction, so on and so forth. Im gonna have super tight skills lab in block 15. oh dear!!!! it's restoration and crown remaking anyway.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeww, i start being a real young dentist this close. hehe.. semangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

c later!peace out!

Holiday!!... coming soon!! coming soon!! coming soon!!

well. it's been over 3 weeks without publishing sum post in here. it's like to lose sum lil part thing on me actually. it's getting more when i already had some more terribleness these days. it started from the unreadiness for exams that i feel it's totally blur to make sure if im lucky or even stunk at the moment. it's one of things inside me that i hate most. being lazy in the beginning , thinking that i could handle everything, assuring it's not as super difficult that i just left it like im very much sure that i can make it up. therefore , when exams going, when it's MUCH MORE difficult as i thot before, when i kept blinking in the first 30 Q's , when I felt everything's blur in the next 20 Q's, when my eyes seemed pulled our in the next 10 Q's, when i got dizzy in the next 10 Q's, when i felt my brain blowing out!!, i juz wanna trash those papers right away.. REALLY!!!!

another terribleness was adjusting my hosting stuffs for summer school. I dunno why it's so much unpredicted in the end since in the very fist time i could easily make everything in the right place. it's like to take my breath away to face the conflict between me and one whom i host. i know it's all bout the miscommunication, but it was like an ultra huge trouble. the problem was juz i dunno what to do then got terribly confused in the middle of the home stay since we had a bad way to comunicate all stuffs. i didnt know what she wanted and she needed as when i asked her what i should do for her , she always said " dunno, nothing". *sigh* from this point, i cant tell and describe how it's going.well, it's not a justification, we know we're both absolutely wry in this case. it's OK . very much OK. i know what to do next... yes , i will not care everything then.

OK then.. It's almost the end of JULY. it means im gonna have HOLIDAY in the first week of August. it's like a
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY.. WOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO.. HUAAAAAAAHUAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!
* running in the absolute joy*
It's a super big thing for me.. come on it's HOLIDAY.... A-MONTH-HOLIDAY, the longest Holiday ever for me so far. I do think alot of this Holiday that i already plan to make what-to-do-list during this holiday! Crazyy!! psychologically in the groove of vacation. if i can show the bubled-though over head, it muz be showing you the beaches, my china town, my favorite foods which i can hardly find it in yogya, my ROOM ohhh, my house, big family, nephew, niece, cousins, everyone i missed so much these days, and anything but i missed.
then... Mom called me, said " sweety, we're gonna go to mecca in the 1st day of fasting month to do UMRAH " *blinkin for bit while* WHATTT UMRAH?? it's really unplanned. is it really UMRAH i heard from the phone? wowowowoww.. Umrah. going to mecca for Umrah is not like travelling for fun but it does even need a high concern and seriousness within this intention that we need a really super DETERMINATION for this, really... When mom keeps convincing it's good for us to go together this holiday, i dunno why i keep thinking and my mind changes every minute, still YES no YES no. it really needs DETERMINATION people!! , and i didnt even guess and expect it would come so fast like this. so what to do next?? well , i just need to determine that i gotta be always ready for Umrah. Mom told that i and sis should prepare everything to this very valuable trip. YES MOM.
i dunno why i and sis dont feel we're ready for this. well maybe it's coz of the unnecessary paranoid existing inside our head. it's all bout Before and After. it's not bout the moz valuable proccess but a Before and an After. when mom's smiling on this YES , my sis freaks out! totally confused and paranoid. oh my gosh... Im ready Mom.. *trying to*

under the roof of the net cafe, im writing and sharing lotta things in my post rite now, i slowly feel so sleepy. so i need to go off to bed in minutes ahead.
c l8ter soon.
peace out!! (n_n)v

---dunno—what—to—title--??—

Hehe.. it’s so much confusing and taking sum sorta long minutes for me to think bit harder bout the tittle which I supposed to give to this post*Like I use to do hehe* as I have bunch things to tell .I cant chose also the priority or sum super bombastic story of mine that I might put its highlight as this post’s title Hahaha *see, you read this and u might do a what-look hehe*.

I feel so much fun during this 2 weeks. It’s started with Euro football championship. I pushed myself to watch the live match on TV and ya know what? The match is always started in near-midnight or even after midnight and ended in almost-dawn or even yes-dawn. therefore , I have my sleep time out of normal one. however, no matter how sleepy I am during the lecture and discussion and tutorials and so on and so forth, no matter how my AAAaaaaAAaaa-shout disturbing the neighbors , no matter how strange some frens questioning me if I like and understand the match , no matter bout the backache I always had if I slept in the bed near the TV , I do really enjoy it instead of throwing sum complains. Hehe. In the first time, I like watching football match coz I like to see sum hot and fabulous players running and showing off their hotness haha. But later, I do think it’s wry enough, coz once you understand the match , shout and yell out whatever team you support for, and that time you might get into and think that you might watch the next Hot match. So far, I really adore Portugal( too bad in quarter final they didn’t break huhu, pepe, helder P, C Ron, paul Ferreira, nuno Gomes.. I still love you sweetheart(s) ), Spain( such a exciting and most spirited team), Russia( omg!! Roman pavlyuchenko is sooooo much cute, he’s like Russian puppet hehe, I heart him sooooo much ), maybe Germany, hmm cez republic also ( the GK is so much good, so far, he’s the best one I find hehe)

Ok, enuff for EURO fever.. :P

Another fun fact to see is i start to hang out with friends more often, saying, i watched 2 football matches in one night and n0- sleep again till the morning then continued to watch the sunrise in the beach ( like one scene in the city of angel the movie hahaha) . I will tell you l8ter for detail how fascinating and how refreshing it was *LOLs.
And again, I start to go with my very super COOL frens during the noon to have sum lunch more often. Sometimes we went to a mal or cafe which’s far enuff from campus. It’s always full of laughter and jokes , tho, and it’s like to laugh your brain out , so much refreshing as well .hehe.

Well, im now looking around the rooms, the Tv room and the kitchen. They are all so clean and nice. It’s not like weeks ago or whenever I see them messed( or wreck them that damn successful ).why it’s so good and clean?? Coz I and sis start changing the way to treat the house. No more messing up the rooms by placing everything wherever we like to ( for examples, books on the fridge, keys in the fridge, shirts in anywhere but anywhere, anything in anywhere, pants in anywhere, ohhh cant describe for more, it’s so much terrible), no more depending on house assistant(so if she doesn’t come for 4 days our house might be like an exploding stove MELEDUG), no more careless in treating the rooms. And so, the do’s , yes we start taking care of all the mess , yes clean up the rooms so good, yes save the energy for sort, yes try to be more independent , and yes try to take any responsibility of this whack. Hehe.
So this is it.. our home sweet home coming back to us.

*inhaling the fresh air in TV room*

oh goodness.. how couldnt i start to post this blog with smile eh?* asking to own self, people, god, angels arround!!* HOW??

(enuff for this bothersome shout out) T.T

why im not really good to create sum post rite now? coz
1.I DUN BRING MY OWN LAPTOP which i can use it dat good anywhere and anytime i wanna as long as the wireless connection's not cracked down. therefore, i use library's PC right now then it's so much difficult to be connected to a very smooth internet connection through this one.i dunno why anyway.from my observation, i found 9 pcs available obviously in this lovely PBL library yet only 3 of them can work properly. how much i wanna ask the operator, but it wouldnt be a good idea anyway, since i would understand it wasnt their false and they shouldnt be wronged in this case but yes it was the students's. so i keep my mouth closed * but trully inside my heart, i wanna hit this PC with sum stick!!! really!*

2. other case in the same reason is the anti-virus seems to work so hard that i have to encourage it by clickling away a 'DELETE' everytime the detection pops out and showing there are some viruses inducing this PC. and ya know what!! , IT"S Like to pop out more often after clicking away this DELETE. oh darn,, if i really care of this detection i will not do my bussiness with this pc coz im so much busy to DELETE and DELETE and DELETE and DELETE these bunch and uncountable viruses. i then leave it to thrive upon this PC. i dun care hehehe

3. despite some annoying stuffs coming first in the beginning, i can keep myself chilled in all the way, still. well, chilled in the heart for term, but for real,,, it's so HOT over here. i then assumed the chamber is not providing a good cool air circulation from AIR-COn. oh GOD.. i trully regret for not bringing my laptop, really!. * got dizzy of the heat*

soooo, do i realy wanna move to a more comfortable place,IT lab?
yes, No , yea, No, yes, No??
dunno la.. so lazy to move my ass from this seat , i dun care whether it's really hot and no-good here. I dun care..

*try to enjoy the situation, err yeaaa enjoy *

for more stories.. *sigh. i cant tell you for a moment as i think i should chill myself out for sort. hehe * it's due to all these craps... arrrghhhhhhhhhhh

im off

do i really like someone now?

Well ya, I get ashamed in this very short time. it’s like exploding in my mind, hell banana really.. do I really like someone now?.. or it’s juz like a justification to humble down my pickle mind ? or im juz out of line to limit what should I feel as an anti-loving-one one? I find out my mind thinking yes it’s so.. yes I like someone..him

In my pretentious *bitch* heart , I do keep saying “uh nuh no way… I muz be kidding or juz feeling lonesome for sort” but something breaks it all since I told before that I muz be a fat lipped bitch to say so and so. It attempts to keep convincing me that I really like someone rite now. It’s not like a love but juz a likeness, despite I think it’s like an accidentally fond hehe. I figure out the way to see the truth in this awkwardness.

What’s true?? I bet he muz not like me.. he doesn’t like me.. im not even his type. He may not deserve to have me as his special friend oh geez he doesn’t even wanna make some relationship to a girl till he thinks it’s really the time to make. He’s tremendous straight. I never find someone seeing a girl that afraid or even avoiding but him. I never find someone showing the huge charisma but him. I never see im happy to see someone performing like he always think transcendentally despite he never try to show off but him.

Oh .. witch.. he’s so good yet everything I really dislike is all in him. Again, is it only a challenge? I mean, do I only dare myself to know him or to let him to notice what I feel then he would like me too and last we make up and I feel satisfied that he’s so easy and when I get bored i may dump him up? Yes saying it’s damn strange curiosity.. sometimes girls love to do it.

Well, BOLD NOTE , im not that really crazy bout him,tho.
. I like him but it’s not that I really like him like insane.
I like to see him sitting infront of me in our discussion time but it’s not like my heart always pounds everytime I make a look at him.
I like to say anything but reckless and bit outrageous in sake of teasing to him but im not that really serious. Come on..*rolls eyes
I like to ask him some questions during the discussion coz I really need the answers for sum smart stuff. …it’s so much natural
I like him as he’s naturally smart , but sometimes I could be smarter than him anyway * I always wished
I used to laugh at him when he tried to avoid the eye contact to the girl but why I now really make it like WOW!IM SO MUCH PROUD OF IT
I like him but I never try to make a WOW when he walks then falls acroz , it’s only enough with WHEW-with my sweet glance hehe
I like him but he doesn’t like me
He doesn’t like me but why I can be this good
I can be this good coz I dun have any burden or target if he would like me later
Well even if he would like me in some other time, I will not make up. I dun wanna.. he’s not my type.. I dun have any intention or what to him. I juz like him like this weird.i dun even know if I really like him now.

When anyone in love. The love muz be so much brighter that they can do anything to their lover. Girl is a floor and boy is a rug. Boy will always be cheese if the girl is mayonnaise.. everything is so good if done together..

I never was
And I dunno will I have “this” one * cant even spell L.O.V.E
Because it’s not really important for now.. I dun wanna feel that hurry
So do I like someone now? ..
Geeez banana… WHAT?!!

*keeps asking to herself *

things that always pamper my mind to think harder before i sleep

everybody always says, "a very peaceful feeling in whole day is when we try to close our eyes and clear our mind and it's like to feel hipnotized that we then sleep so tight." but not for me actually!.going off to bed is not as easy as they say before to me. i always get double worried of what may happen tomorrow, or start thinking anything but no-really-important and urgent enuff to think. so ,for me peaceful-feeling-before-getting asleep is a big myth. it's like there's always something chanting the words of " come on, there's still sumkinda thing to think , stay awake please" or i do even always think too hard of sum wacthed films in night. when i though it aint the way it should be ended, i thought quite hard on why and how it's gonna be that crazy. how no-important it was..

too much pressures of my before-i-sleep-ritual, i gotta be trying some traditional idea but it doesnt work whatsoever.. . saying, it was ship counting, doing math in half-asleep-and awake * and it always ends unexpectedly that i keep my mind counting with 70% awake and terrible sleepy -and damn -cnnot sleep sometime* , and try to do meditation by clearing the mind for everything* hm for this one, it's like always to tease me to think the last watched films, exams, assignment, tom welling, richard kevin, so forth...... oh my GOSH... am i doomed? o.O ?? *
oh can i juz sleep???????!!! i wanna Sleeep *checking the watch , it's 2 am, SIGH*

sometimes i work so hard for sum exercise or walk so far or go down and up the stairs in my campus for the sake of early and tighly sleep, but it's juz half working on me.i dunno why it's like so much difficult to get asleep. why so? does everyone feel the same or what?? or im born to be vampire or zombie or other nite-living-creature or what? HECK... no explanation as yet,, No identification as yet... I got no idea , tho.

okie, after whining up and sharing this fucking confusing complains, i can only keep it lying on my head and think positively, i perhaps hv sum sleeping disorder or anything but unidentified. when i cant stop bitching on this syndrome, it's better for me to leave myself experiencing this crap. oh crap.. myyy......

-- rolling the eyes--

no house-assistant+doin laundry by myself+cleaning up the house alone+2 days-excruciating and throbing- tension type- headache = my 4 days holiday

4 days holiday for me is as beautiful as the morning sun rising over the window* cant imagine? it's ok. me neither*. the happy and fun holiday imagination suddenly poped on my mind that i then started making sum plan to do during this worthier-than-ever holiday. it comes again to my mind with sum extravagance and super-late-nite sleep with whatever-films-to watch.oh my... it's like to come as sum euphoria to me..so much wonderful * exegaratting.

day 1-sunday
i know it's sunday and everyone muz have this time off every week but why it seemed to come huger and happier for me as i barely finished all exhausting block 11 clinical stuffs and exams last at saturday. i can even describe what it feels.yessss.... it's like a pigeon spreading its wings and ready to fly away so high without any burden. sooooo good feeling.
late wake up at the morning ( i woke @ 10-11 am hehe) stole sum hours to enjoy coz i always do biking every sunday morning and sometime the distance is kinda far. that's why it's like to lose sum one fifth of my sunday if i dun have this morning biking.
i didnt have sum interesting stuffs during the noon and afternoon. staying home is one best option when you find yogyakarta getting hottier day by day. so it's like living in whateverland where you can do whatever you want and mess all rooms , think straight that the house assistant will clean up all the mess tomorrow.mess around ,, here come the homewreckers.. halelujah. o.O
after getting bored in the house, i and sis decided to go shoppin at nite. it was nice shoppin anyway.

day 2- monday
when i was opening my eyes at 11 am * wow! late wake up again!* i felt like in sinetron haha when the girls opened the eyes beautifully with the hands rising and sweet smile upon the face.hehe weird.
and after some minutes ... i made my breakfast alone with sum groovy song. laterrr then .. taking the shower, and everything was in the right place, i was so cute in the mirror, but why i had teribly bad feeling on sumthing-unseen-yet. what was it???
i opened my back door, oh my.. i found some shirts , skirts, etc to washhhhh... i juz wished the assistant to come earlier.
* waiting for 4 hours , it was 3 pm.
i stared at the laundry bucket with serious hope and pitiful face. it's really urgent!! big bounce of clothes in the bucket is really need to be washed soon... or i will die with its smell contamination * ops not that bad*.
i kept thinking and tried to decide what best for my holiday whether only staring at that bucket*darn or wash the clothes in that bucket. it's like in 2 brances, so hasitant. huhu.
15 minutes thinking.. yes i decided to wash all of em..duuuuhhh
--------------------doing laundry by bare hand---------------------------dun wanna tell----------as it sucks alot---------------------my oh my----------------------it's even in my holiday-------------------it's ok if it's valentine ( what's the connection? stupic)---------------------
*at nite...... ohhhhhhhhhhh so tired.. so i clear my mind and sleep with my tired hands.

day 3--
i had nice time yesterday with my own laundry.. and now, the ugly and messy and lousy room gotta be my big attention. i didnt wish my asssistant to come no more, i would do all this clean up by myself. i didnt think it's holiday anymore. i rather to clean da house than leaving it without any responsible. i did it ALONE as sis was too busy with her nw block. ohhhh back painnnnnnnnn
*at nite* darrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn............... i had hypothermy and excruciating+throbing headache.................................................................................. i couldnt tell anything for this one but it's like too much prickling and my brain seemed pushed and pulled. gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... i took 2 panadols in d same time .. slept then...

day 4--wednesday
no more trying to feel what this holiday's supposed to be..... no more huhuuhuhuhuh.............. excruciating and throbing tension type headache suffered me so much................i dun wanna tell the up next. no no.. it's traumatic moment to me obviously.


friday-today

i juz had my opening lecture for my new block.. it's dental management anyway.. whoooa im so excited since there will be some more hospital and clinic visitings and also role play game. hehe .. happt learning. im coming.

p.s i dun have any headache for more.. thanks panadols. i heart you <-- ga penting

i feel neutral 50% happy , 50% dun care

another week came and passed by.another block's been end up.another exams week's just come . i should keep taking everything in head till the last drop of my blood .go . goo gooo.

well...i barely had my skills lab week since last week. it's like to juice all my energy( can imagine? me neither hahaha). why it's supposed to be a big attention? coz it's teeth model boxing( boxing- study model's base ) making anyway.. the upper batch dont even have yet.huhu. the process aint simple as its look.see, we gotta make negative impression with alginat as material and sum trays as the tools bit first. and ya know.... it's such a complicated process that i had to retake it more than 11 times for maxila and mandible impressions. *sigh. when all impressions all were okay, time to go making a real model with gyps as the material. AGAIN, it needed to retake more than 8 times as i remembered.* sigh again. after having nice gyps model, i gotta work my ass to make sum adjusment for every side of model's base for both maxila and mandible that i might cry a river for retake 3 times in making appropriate model's base. omg.. .however... all those things are now all done dat well anyway.. so happy.but unfortunately im now having quite severe cough for almost 2 weeks due to overworking wid gyps that OMG... it's like to heat my throat and fill my lung with sum-hot-and -itchy fluid. soooooooo suffering..

since the issue coming for this week bout MY MOOD which i successfully discovered , here i come to tell you all of my confusions and errr hesitance through thze weeks.
i dunno what the hell happen to me lately that my mood change almoz in every minute. i cant even define which one i get for same time.hehe.it sounds so weird anyway for some people around me for they looked me performing bit different lately, maybe they look at me as the new weirdo.i realize this thing for sort but yes again i dun care too much bout that.i juz wanna be what i possibly feel at that time that i freely dun need to hide from ones.



under all circumtances, it's really nice to live my life as the way i am, and as the way it is...



hm, i dunno either what to tell as it would become a very long naration that i cant even choose which story that i wanna tell ( stupid!).

i feel so neutral... 50% happy, 50% dun care

^^

when i think about my future

yup. back again after having ALSA debate competition in jakarta. it's really nice anyway since i learned lotta things during this competition. i could feel my emotions blended terribly before and after debating, the more so when i hafta wait for adjudication time that is like a WHOOOOAAA to me. however, it's totally cool when we knew that we could go to quarter finals. i promise to myself that i oughta fall for debate till i get addicted to it like crazy ( hmm?? ga jelas?? ) hahahah. semangat!

anyway, for the tittle goes....

" i dunno what the future brings" - daniel beddingfield

future! , hm such a moz thought and considered and prioritized thing in head.i always think about my future everywhere, everytime from the hours or minutes or even seconds before falling down asleep , in my sleep, to time when i first open my eyes in the morning. it seems to pop again and all over again all the time. As i lately like to discus about the future wid anyone wid every single supportive thing inside the conversation, i's like to wake me up when in our discussion we find a flow to sumthing more wanted and wished in the future ( beside , for me, prosperity, welfare, super clinic, super dentist, gratifying stuffs for my dad and mam and all my huge family) which is... marriage and children. it's like a " WHAAAAAAAAAAT!" to me anyway. i dunno why when my friends start talking about marriage and having children to feed and to upbring wid blushing-rosy-cheeks face ,my mind always thinks that it's not a really-important thing to discuss what so ever. sometimes what they tell seems to always be bla-bla-bla- bla in my mind. means that if they say these damn no important things , such as , " oh such a happy life to have a cute babe " - "whoooaaa im so curious how my children's look will be.. muz be as cute as me" - ", hmm ... no no , if i have a son , his eyes muz be like his father AAAAAAAAAAA!! yahhh.." - " so , i wanna have a daughter who could resemble me in other way or even same way.. saying,,yes mini-me..hahahaha" - it could be " WHOAAAA bla bla bla , bla bla whatever" - " oh really?? you wish??" - " whata hell, are you okay " - " what?? !! " - " big whatever !" in my mind.

" i dun belive in marriage guysss . sorry" - me,myself, and i

this i-dun-believe-in-marriage could be a big question that i gotta ask to myself?
Q: WHY SO?
me: i dunno. so??
Q: HOW COULD YOU THINK THIS WAY?
me: i dunno HOW?
Q: ARE YOU OKAY?? OR YOU HAVE YOUR GENDER PERFERENCE CHANGE? ERRR ARE YOU LESBO?
me: ahhh, yes im okay. no, i still love hotty boys. oh nooo nooo im still damn straight!
Q: SO?? WHY?
me: ohhhh #%^%&*&()*()&^$%##@#$@#$#$@#$@ i dunnoooooo. dun ask me dat much @$%#$%^%&^*^$%$%#$#$@

yes really. i dunno why i dun believe in marrige like freak.marriage is juz like a super big thing to me that im not sure i can handle. i see what comes and happen arround in one's wedlocks, marriage is juz like thousands tons ball that already carried on their back , that they should maintain, treat or even beautify.see how much i fear of marriage, when everyone tries to hook up other one, i only think it's not what i suppose to do rite now.when evryone thinks babes are all cute and they wanna have one, i only can think yes babes are cute but i aint supposed to have one.when everyone thinks about their happy life with their hubby, wife and children, i can only say yes it's nice but i dun really have to marry sumone to have a happy life.when evryone think negative about me due to this mistrust , i can only say a beautiful and comforting thing,-yes whatever-.

Can you imagine. when you have hubby, you cant do whatever you want, like, hang out with sum friends in a very nice way , not like a tupperware party which wives always have in weekend with her " other-mama-friend". ohhh horifying!! it's like a group of nannies laughing with their cocktails and dancing arround wid their osteophorosis. woooow. damn.

can you imagine again. when you have sum conflict with you hubby, it's juz like to delete or erase you love till 40 days ahead or delete your sweet romantic time that you did in that 2-3 months.it's so wacky! how come you can come up with your weird " new memmory" and ignoring your hubby as if you had no kiss and hugs from him for such a long time, it's even only several days you didnt.ho ho ho

imagine again about the chaostic that will happen to your house by your children.
SONS . S-O-N-S oh horible.. THEY
-like to whine up like hell.
-always wanna be a center of attentions
-can be a terribly-egois-growing-up-lil-boys that what they want should be always fulfilled. if we dun , ohhhh juz wait and see what will come arround in your house!!!!!!! they will wreck! crack! break! everything arround them.no no no
- like to jump, act like super hero, try to fly whatever it may be , YET, they totally have HUge tendency to fractures, weepy, possibility of injuries is SIGNIFICANTLY BIG even if for pottr accident.
- seem damn testosterony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seeeeeee. hyperactive.oh hyperactive.
- when they grow up and become a boy. yes i bet my son will be cute ( if i could only have hahaha), it will make a greater problem on how they make a nice or even gross relationhip with sum girls. oh no their mama will get their aging faster than ever. and other thing is when they become damn rebellious and have their transision time gone wrong. it wil create sum identity confusion and bear a harm back to the parents.
- are ONES that i dun wanna live with. im sorry for now.

DAUGHTER.. yes be good to your daughter. THEY>>
- like to dress up like older one
-like to whine up like insane
- are hard to listen to their parents
- are very easy to accept the bad influence
- are sensitive, weepy, egois
- when they grow up and become a cute girl, i fear so bad on how her boy friends behave to her and how make their relationship. will they be as polite as the parent or misled by sum bad guys or friends using drugs or even setting free sex on their life? will they go out of house with cheating behind the parents? will they kiss a boy @ the age of 13 ? NOOOO WAYYY


somehow i cant pretend that i like them in different side of view. i used to be UNICEF YOUNG LEADER, i used to like to associate to children, i like to see children smiling, laughing, playing. BUt what i dun want is just to have a MARRIAGE AND OWN CHILDREN coz i've considered thinking about what happen to my world if i have hubby and my children. will i be an irresponsible mama? will i juz leave my children grow that derelict?

sumtimes i like to tickle my mind and notion with sum counter intention to try so hard to change all thz mistrust.but sumtimes, i cant, really. sum other time , i think everything needs a procces and proccess needs time. and it take any longer time as it aint easy as you juzt wink your eyes.it's your paradigm hellllooo.. that you wanna change.so it need sum long time to change.

question again in my head.
Q: WILL U JUZ CHANGE YOUr MIND?
me: im not sure i can
Q: WILL YOU JUZ TRY TO?
me: im not sure. but yes i will try...

*white flags

right time to be more serious with studyin stuffs

im in such a hive for getting sum more depression factors from sum academic announcement as a warning and tragic wake up call for sum-listed-students who are in danger of pre-drop-out system. it's like to scream my lung out when i found my name in sum-listed-students-list. uooh.. it's like a huge slap for me.i fell into pieces to see how this system works.yes it works to break all students's heart. however, no matter how embrassing and humiliating this reawakening, i still should keep struggling for paying off all unachieved grade level in every block i failed. i realized dat i played too much in semester 2 which i failed all blocks to make up. damn, and now i cant stop damning all distractions dat i dunno what they were actually. it's such a super regret for me to leave all semester-2-blocks that derelict.now all i can do is juz keep trying to manage all of blocks with super duper attention as i shuld have considered thinkin about the consequences for being in this fucking list which it allows students to not getting in the next grade/year, it means also that if we dun really achieve"what it appeals and requires for allowing student to walk straight into the next grade" we may suppose to get stuck in damn same year and class as under or lower batch's . it's like a most suffering hell oooohhh. ya, now, again, i have to cheer up and take it as a great concern since im just like to stand nearby dragon's mouth or like sitting on a tip of sword * i know it's super exaggerating but really it's what i feel*. semangat semangat!!!!

another interesting moment i have in this week is my sister's birthday celebration. we didnt have sum cool party actually which full of girls and boys frens dancing on the floor. only we both celebrated it. my lil sis didnt wanna have a complicated stuffs on his birthday celebration like party or hanging out with friends.yes we know how birthday party is like. whoaa.. we already experienced it. well, chaos everywhere. haha, it's not like a real chaos anyway, juz preety better yet it's still sorta annoying and exhausting, that's why she decided to not having a party for her 18. yes sister, it's really no problem,really, as what we should rely on is - being older means we have greater responsibility for ourselves- . it's all about being mature and leaving all damn annoying attitude and kiddies thought. believe me.

anyway, i juz watched american idol result show for this week. and oh shit bananas.. MICHAEL JOHNS was eliminated!!! whata ugly result i know this far. why should him??? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhuhuhu. the judges seemed shook of this result and the more so am i!.he sang very good song and he's so charming out there, but why should he leave the stage?? T.T again, WHY!!!?? i think there sum fuckin worse performances from other idols, but why should he leave? why?? please American.. do vote the good one.please.

okie then. i think im sorta uncreative for tonite. i have no idea to tell. under more pressure of debate competition which coming soon, all i can do is juz try my best. * anyway, inside my heart keep wishpering me to hope we wont go to DC huu since i feel bad of this.weird*

semangat semangat!!

new stuffs come arround.

huhu, " ayolah , semangat lagi lah... " ; i've been hearing this ayolah-semangat-lagi-lah so often during this week. after getting miserable for exams, academic announcement which likely to warn or confront or even eat me , clinical week that is stressful enuff for me , sum clash with sister and all boredom invasion, and here i come to my new reparation action for myself. hehe . from the term of reparation which means so wide and yaaa hears like to gettin hurt or broken , i find out myself in a very serious boring syndromme that I START CHANGING THE MEASUREMENT OF "HOT ones/stuffs " LEVEL. it's perfectly weird. for more facts on my preference transformation please see ths-crackpot fool's confession below;

- i think i like sumone now hahaha . his name is DAVI - TEENS singer from Malaysia- again ,he's only a teenager , absolutely younger than me , looks so cute and so TEEN , but i think he's HOT enuff.why i like him like crazy???!!!! gyaaaaaaaa!!! when i gotta think and convince myself for sort that i wasnt normal enuff to adore that kid, but what 's always popping in my mind is " alrite, DAVI is young yet HOt and i should elevate his HOT level equal with RICHARD KEVIN. O.o am i terribly getting insane due to all pressure or what?? CARELINE!!! please help me. <--- this is what i called by -I START CHANGING THE MEASUREMENT OF "HOT ones/stuffs " LEVEL- queeeeeeeer

other confs...

- i like to talk to myself while reflecting on the mirror or even while taking pee or poo in toilet, and much worse , anywhere while doing anything but in bit quiet situation or home alone , lately yes. i mumble anything. sounds so crazy but i dunno why i really enjoy it so much. it's like my quality time with another piece of me.can anyone explain what's actually happening to?? - i dunno what happened to me last 2 days. i had a clash wid sister and i dunno why other part of me wanted me to do sum physical action to slap or even hit her with my hand or sumthing. i lost myself at that time. my health mind flew to sumwhere, and being evil to me. it's like to have 2 Esti , the evil and the angel one. the evil or my dark and shit side wanted me to torture my sis for giving some deterrence effect, but other side, the angel me , wanted me to stay focusing on my basic nature that i wouldnt be that notorious. i guess, the angel-me won and i didnt do anything with my hand but only getting fussy for sort with sum whatever advise. hehe

- and again, i become a perfect complainer. it's like to whine up on every dissatisfaction or inconvenience. hence my favorite start for convs is " ah,,,,, im sick of it" or " WTF, how come/could? " or " ahhhh- it's not supposed to be like that if you lemme do iit" or " hey you!!!! gimmmeeee!!" or other nauseating whining( you can have em on your head, huhu yucky rite??)

enuff for confessions.

now i m gonna show more pics taken during this 2-almost-3 weeks, when i got no idea to think bout the answer of sum exams questions examples, when i gotta be acting like a photographer every time i saw good spot to snap, when i was getting stupidly bored of all exams materials, when i got no one to take sum pic of mine, when i have special disintegrated emotions explosion, when i again tried to produce sumthing from my boredom, here you come, picturessssss....


it's not a good naration actually, so please dun try to do this way hehe


walked and remembered that this kiddie thingy used to be my fav play in my sweet childhood

frens came and said " take my pic ! " i then took, but when i wanted them to take mine , they said " busy sorry " T.T darn


" ah okie, wth! serus problems actually come from parotis glands, and the worst position of malocclusion is on skeletal , arrrrrgggghhhhhhh sick !!!! " -- better to go takin pic -- haha


i need to cut my hair !!!!!!!!gyaaaaaaa!! orang gila
i thought i was cute enuff in that morning. ops, not only that morning, but.. every morning.

okie then, i think that's all i can share. well, im bit tired for preparing ALSA debate competition. whatever, i wont give up.semangat!

c l8er

sum pictures that i really wanna place into my post

another ordinary Monday comes. being listless in tutorial with all mumbling friends during the discussion and time that seemed to slowly tick out made me smile in my heart that we might suppose to have more holiday. 6 days time off didn't seem enough for us to do whatsoever the things dat we wanna do actually .so, when we gotta wake up in this morning then should realize that we're gonna back to all stressing activities, we then freak on it. in sum more hours with this no-fervour , I'm now sitting again in here to post sum stuff , browsing sum journal and watch sum funny video in you tube and setting sum junk stuffs.i then evoked sum idea to put sum pics in this post.

i got amused to accept sum Mmes from mama containing my nephew 's recent pics.i then have sum idea to narrate his story through pics that're likely to perform such a metamorphosis within.here goes.my cutie nephew, rayhan valentino.he's 9 months old now anyway.

His first hour to breathe the real O2 in hospital.he might confused for the light hehe

My mama cuddled him , woooo must be so warm yah.. hehe he looked so cute , no?

He’s with her mama. He looked upset right? Haha coz his sleep time ‘s always disturbed by sum ppl who taking the pics. :P yah coz you’re super cute rayhan, no wonder everyone always wanna pester you. Hehe

When he’s still 3 months old. This is the time when I went home for a vacation. Yes, he made me adore him like hell. He’s sooooooooo cute. I cant help. Huuhu. I bet it muz be from his aunty( me actually) !

OMG!!! Doesn’t he look so gorgeous, or what?

Eh? He’s getting fattier. No comment. Hehe, but he’s still cute, right!

when he's bald

his recent pics sent a week ago. look different, no?? that's why it lemme title this naration " metamorphosis" hehe


so that's all for 1st part of this post. see again in part 2 heheh

continued......

when the anger dominates the logics

how stressful this day was! GOD! it's like to flake and never stand again. it's such an indescribable worse situation ever when i could have sum crisis on my own self for eveything's fallen into pieces.i'm booing myself since im vaguely thinking about what i built for such a very long time with all intricacies and endeavors is stabbing me on the bottom point that hurt me too much. im juz like a cold-hearted bitch in defining what is actually happening on me which i kept neglecting what i need to feel and see for the reality. i know these words cant make sense enough when everyone reads, it's like an unnecessary thing to think about then. under all circumstances, i dun feel okay at all today. all this shame and guilt are obscuring, thumping my heart, slapping me, throwing me from the top to the beautiful trash. i shockingly realize that i'm juz a piece of crap, really, i'm nothing. how i could act so pretentious wid all satisfaction?

i'm bout to change?

it's queer transition time.

when i ate my words so often, when everyone looked me in juz an eye, when everyone think i was a pushy, when everyone byes.

when i realized how filthy this pride, when i was aware of my vanity, when i indulged myself vainly, when i was torn.

i juz need a warm hug, warm smile of everyone whom i miss.
i miss all simple thing that i used to have
i miss the tales from friends
im tired of the hives and the pressure
i miss being an angel for myself

transition time , transition time

which i should adjust and no " hang-on" no more.

transition time.. transition time
when it sumtimes would cripple me then i supposed to get stunk
when it teaches me to be a tougher one
which observes then controls me

anything's bout to change when i become a controller and deny to be a stalker for my feeling.

i can't help myself for this sickness

im terribly pissed off for having so much terribleness on my net connection. so many things drag me on lately as well that i dunno why it can happen to me. lil piece of shit which i barely bitched on is a @#@$%$ error in uploading sum pics in my friendster account, it's then followed with sum unaccomplished debating matters, followed again wid lagging internet connection, followed again with my prickling headache, followed again with a lil hunger, followed again with sleepinez , followed again with a contrary view on 'what i can do tonite should have been done soon' that seems to gimme extra burden on my head, uoooh. if i could list billions things that horibly worsen my excruciating dizziness , it muz be so much better

* sigh.
im too much complaining these minutes. i feel there's sum kinda hot solid things blended in my head that makes my brain cant be working in its gear.yes really, i cant think that clear right now.

i remember how easy my life was, when i was still in my parents's house.i always tried to share all problems with mama and dad or sum close friends that always be there when i needed sum helps.it's totally different when im now here.i now gotta finish all given stuffs alone,by myself. is it really my fault to not really believing anyone to getting rid off my stuffs ? , so , i dun care how damn hard i try to finish those stuffs as long as i do it by my own self, it's always ok. i hate cooperation that always ends up with a disappointment.

what i can read in mind is " hey i need to share my stuffs or try to have sum lil more remedies to clean up sum shits on me". alrite then. thanks for being so blunt.

oooh. is it really fatal when we're unendurable for handling too much things? is it equal enuff with vulnerability? am too i selfish to think that i'm super bright to handle so many things? is it okay when i cant help myself for this sickness? no?

when i steal 30 mins from my working time to post this blog, i dun think that it's wasting, tho. it's so ok. i feel alrite now. anything's under my control again. what my mind pushed me to do is completely true that i need to share all problems to anyone or anything.it's like to burp when we have a stomach gas problem. it will be fucking suffering when we dun do it, otherwise, it's so beautiful when we do it in the time that we really wannna.

oh shit what has this got to do with me?

american idol fever

well, i have a new weekend activity beside cleaning up my house and watching nice cartoons in the early sunday morning, yes it is "watching the recorded american idol show" actually.. ah you may visit the official site for American idol this season at http://www.americanidol.com/ . the show remains 11 contestants to go and win the american idol. i dunno why the last elimination was sorta lame. who went back home then?? - hm david hernandez did. i think he's great singer but he's kinda lack of X factor , but for me , he's quite good at dancing hehe. i forgot what he sang for this week, but it's good enuff la, really. therefore, i have my heart broken to hear that he's eliminated. i think some other contestans sang so damn worse than him. but why should be eliminating him ? why americans vote for the worse??

here is

David Hernandez

• Age: 24
• Hometown: Glendale, AZ
• Favorite Quote: "Believe it, and you'll see it. Know it and you'll be it." - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.
• Audition City: San Diego
• Musical Influences: Stevie Wonder, Donnie Hathaway, Alicia Keys, Anthony Hamilton, Michael Jackson, Peabo Bryson.
• Voted Off: 3/12/08

for the performance, we may look up http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSnWr2S8f4g

leave him with his broken heart then.sorry. bubye.

truthfully i have fallen in love with a male contestant at the very 1st sight ( on tv actually hehe), yes he is MICHAEL JOHNS wwoooooohoooo. he's hot, nice, adorable, endearing, down to earth, unique, always be himself, special,sooo much more lovable , american sweetheart, insanely cute , ohhh i dun have anymore compliments for him, but HE"S SUPER SEXY IDOL to me. love you kiss kiss michael johns.. you blow me up ( what??) hehe.

here you are my babe johns,

Michael Johns

• Age: 29
• Hometown: Buckhead, GA
• Favorite Quote: "It's better to be a has been than a never was."
• Audition City: San Diego
• Musical Influences: The Beatles, Neil Finn, Queen, Otis Redding,

i dun care how boring you are for other people, you are still my cutie pie hotty johns.i love you so much wid all my lung , heart, kidney , aaah all body saja lah.hehe.
for the performance, see this one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVQeJ23tleQ&feature=related


othe favorites are Brooke white and david cook. brooke white is very good and creative in arranging the music. her performances were always nice. David brook , OMG! he's totally rocking and cool. he always blows up everyone coz he really has a huge voice. i love it.

so here you are..

Brooke White

• Age: 24
• Hometown: Mesa, AZ
• Favorite Quote: "Shower the people you love with love!" - James Taylor
• Audition City: Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love!
• Musical Influences: The GOOD stuff - James Taylor, Carole King, Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Eagles, America, Carly Simon, Bee Gees, Hall & Oats, Joni Mitchell, Bonnie Raitt.

David Cook

• Age: 25
• Hometown: Blue Springs, MO
• Favorite Quote: "Pain don't hurt." - Patrick Swayze in "Roadhouse"
• Audition City: Omaha
• Musical Influences: Our Lady Peace, Big Wreck.

overall, all contestants are good enuff then. but for this week, it's all i can tell. see later whether or not im gonna have my mind change.

watching gossip infotaiment + taking pics = special quality time with sis

having super busy time in campus and other activities makes me and my sis actually can't spend a good time together.so, it's really rare for us both to have such a special quality time to spend. the definition of daily life for us has recently been change. wakin up in different time in the morning, preparing all stuffs by own self, coming to different department building( it's still adjescent, tho hehe, so near , medical one is next to dentistry) , coming back home in different time as well, then working all stuffs by self, goin to bed, then waking up again in different time in the morning, so forth = definition of daily life. we dun say that we're lack of communication, but we're lack of time to juz feel that it is really really special to spend together. we go shoping and go eating in cozy places often, but sumtimes, inside our heart we're actually not in our quality time.

in this afternoon, i dunno why , we laughed alot while watching gossip infotainment. it's really funny to watch sumone clarified dat he's not gay in all the way , but other confessed he's gay. ana again sumone told dat her indescent pics aint a big problem for morality , and other said she respected east culture too much. so many things happening toward indonesia's celebrity, it's like a circus to me and they all seem to be a joke to me for sort. hehe. another damn weird thing is on the presenter. really , i hate the way they speak like insane. they juz monyong monyong on the cam , and exaggerating everything. totally lame !! hate hate hate la..

and, sum other nite, we felt nice to take sum cuties pics. check em out .. then say the reality dat we're absolutely insanely cute.hehe

laz nite , we're obsessed of ourselves

i told you that we're incredibly cute haha

okie then. sisters for life......!!

hope we can hv sum more special quality time later on ...

what makes people fall in love?

i got such a good knowledge which's transfered by naked science this afternoon.the issue was WHAT'S SEXY? ,but the major scrutinized thing was on how people can fall in love and couple up each other and how we're obviously designed by our DNA and sum triggered neurotransmitter from sum released hormones called dophamine and oxytocin to love and stick on sumone. it's like a super scientific explanation bout the process in one's body when she/he is in love. it's definitely right that we're likely to have sum chemistry of love within our head, our brain, our body when we start hooking up and having sum contact wid sumone we like. it's really CHEMISTRY then.

well, When we first fall in love, the neutrophins in our hormone are raised substantially longer to continuing relationships. For male hormones dophamine is heavily secreted during the period of 'falling in love'. And a chemical called 'b-Phenylethylamine' is released in our brain that triggers the passion in love. Some study revealed dat it's to enable humans to form 'family unit' in order to reduce off-spring mortality rate, therefore the extention of their own DNA.

And again, when we're in love we muz have our oxytocin increased. from medical term, oxytocin is a hormone of the posterior pituitary gland that is the principally used in obstetrics to induce uterine contractions. but, it's not only to induce uterine contraction, but also actually involves in the process of love's chemistry as this released hormone may work in Sexual arousal, bonding, Increasing trust and reducing fear and also increasing feelings of love, empathy and connection to others.

see, when we're in love , it aint only it, but there's a tough chemistry within our body. how we could feel it's so simple ?? falling in love aint surely as simple as we think then.

UOOOHH MAGELANGAN..

Here I go again.whew yogyakarta’s getting hotter and the weather is uncontrollable. It’s really like a hell during day ,so much hot and rain during afternoon and nite or even reverses, raining all day long and no raining at all at nite, confusing right? . an issue pops out of my head since Im terribly confused on why everyone;s not aware of GLOBAL WARMING WHICH should be a concern these days. They come up with so many reason to only justify what they think about Global warming, and it’s negative, but sum more crap facts is they realize Global warming is happening, theY do feel the effect but ,again, they keep neglecting the green action. Such a sorry fact we have. On my mind, if only I could wake them up with such a creepy concert or discussion which i attempt to persuade them with sum heart-shaking words and creepy-weepy-face ,shout out “ PEOPLE PLEASE DO GREEN ACTION BY TODAY. THE EARTH’S GONNA DRY , THE EARTH’S GONNA EXPLODE , OUR GENERATION WILL COLLAPSE OR WE WILL NOT EVEN SEE OUR CUTE CHILDREN LIVING HEALTHY SINCE 89% OF THEM SUFFER FROM BOMBASTIC-POLUTION-CAUSED DISEASE OR AGAIN IN SUM MORE YEARS YOU WILL SEE PARIS HILTON GOT SKIN CANCER !UOHHH! PEOPLE, PLEASE RISE YOUR HAND SPIRITFULLY AND STRAIGHT, SCREAM YOUR HEART OUT PEOPLE, STOP GLOBAL WARMING!! AYEEEEE FOR GREEN ACTION!! Whew, such a fantastic idiot imagination I made hehe. Whatever, it’s for our goodnez hehe. and today. i had sum worst-lunch-career ever. why it's so????? see the chronology below

1.it's about 12 pm when i left the lab then ran through the canteen. i felt no idea where i should flatten my ass off to having my nice lunch as it's so full anywhere, all seats were almost occupied. but thanks god, after squeezing for the seats, i had sum lil space to sit then. yippiiii ( these minutes, i didnt feel any bad feeling or intuition)

2. the day was so much hot!!!! sun exposure was getting mad. i had my skin tanned by sum pricklin heat. i hate this moment so much ... really for the sake of heaven.

3. i then ordered sum new menu which sounds so interesting by the name - MAGELANGAN- ( still didnt feel anything on it, it's my very first time to order MAGELANGAN anyway)

4. it'd been more than 40 minutes waiting. the sun was still burning the skin

5. getting pissed off with a close friend. she ordered MAGELANGAN as well. we both couldnt stop coming to the waiters to ask if our MAGELANGAN already done yet.

6. F******* up. why it's so late ! we gotta go to the next class in 15 minutes

7. 20 minutes later, our MAGELANGAN served. i was damn shocked about the fact that shook my heart! OMG!! MAGELANGAN IS JUZ THE COLLABORATION BETWEEN whatever FRIED RICE AND FRIED NOODLE ! T.T see the picture

this is MAGELANGAN , the colaboration between NASI GORENG AND MI GORENG .. UOOOOOOHH GW KETIPU....

8. i cried in my heart. gosh why it was it. i waited this MAGELANGAN for about 1 hour and it didnt pay off at all!! wanna know how it tasted? it's completely messy. how couldnt you cry for this kinda thing eh?? huhuhuhuhuhu

9. i didnt finish my lunch as we were very late for the class and i do solemnly swear that i never wanna finish that MAGELANGAN. really , better to not eating it at all.believe me . if you juz did order it, please dun expect too much about the taste, unlez your apetite is totally destructed or you dun eat anything for 11 days.

10. we left the canteen with all thoze craps, crying in heart, and damning the prickling heat on our skin for all over again.

11. we promise and compromise to ourselves that we never order MAGELANGAN again. '

please forget this shit please

OKIE.. sum other issue for this week is... MAKING OF SPACE MAINTAINER.
space maintainer is a part of dentistry stuff dat's destined and function to maintain the space in dentition.other function is to prevent the malocclusion and malposition of the teeth. whew.
it's like a group of sum ortho wire components, such, labial arch , adam clasp, artificial teeth and lingual arch. do you think it's so fine to me??????? oh BIG NO.
i always have sum problems in making ortho wire. i failed the skill test in block 8 juz due to the ugly ortho wire i made.so for now, the prediction is FAIL Again. huhu.
after getting through so many hurts on thumbs and other fingers, after crying and whining up for bit while,after assuming that i wouldnt be good at clinical juz coz of this disability, after promising self that i wouldnt become ortho specialist in my futur clinic, after so much more unstopable efforts , EVENTUALLY....... I MADE UP . im so much happy........... yipppppiiiiieeeeeeeee... it aint that ugly then
nice, no??? hehe im proud of mine...really

i felt nice then.. hehe. so the message that may convey us is nothing's impossible. keep doing the best eventho you have to kill yourself for sort hehe.