how stressful this day was! GOD! it's like to flake and never stand again. it's such an indescribable worse situation ever when i could have sum crisis on my own self for eveything's fallen into pieces.i'm booing myself since im vaguely thinking about what i built for such a very long time with all intricacies and endeavors is stabbing me on the bottom point that hurt me too much. im juz like a cold-hearted bitch in defining what is actually happening on me which i kept neglecting what i need to feel and see for the reality. i know these words cant make sense enough when everyone reads, it's like an unnecessary thing to think about then. under all circumstances, i dun feel okay at all today. all this shame and guilt are obscuring, thumping my heart, slapping me, throwing me from the top to the beautiful trash. i shockingly realize that i'm juz a piece of crap, really, i'm nothing. how i could act so pretentious wid all satisfaction?
i'm bout to change?
it's queer transition time.
when i ate my words so often, when everyone looked me in juz an eye, when everyone think i was a pushy, when everyone byes.
when i realized how filthy this pride, when i was aware of my vanity, when i indulged myself vainly, when i was torn.
i juz need a warm hug, warm smile of everyone whom i miss.
i miss all simple thing that i used to have
i miss the tales from friends
im tired of the hives and the pressure
i miss being an angel for myself
transition time , transition time
which i should adjust and no " hang-on" no more.
transition time.. transition time
when it sumtimes would cripple me then i supposed to get stunk
when it teaches me to be a tougher one
which observes then controls me
anything's bout to change when i become a controller and deny to be a stalker for my feeling.
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