i can't help myself for this sickness

im terribly pissed off for having so much terribleness on my net connection. so many things drag me on lately as well that i dunno why it can happen to me. lil piece of shit which i barely bitched on is a @#@$%$ error in uploading sum pics in my friendster account, it's then followed with sum unaccomplished debating matters, followed again wid lagging internet connection, followed again with my prickling headache, followed again with a lil hunger, followed again with sleepinez , followed again with a contrary view on 'what i can do tonite should have been done soon' that seems to gimme extra burden on my head, uoooh. if i could list billions things that horibly worsen my excruciating dizziness , it muz be so much better

* sigh.
im too much complaining these minutes. i feel there's sum kinda hot solid things blended in my head that makes my brain cant be working in its gear.yes really, i cant think that clear right now.

i remember how easy my life was, when i was still in my parents's house.i always tried to share all problems with mama and dad or sum close friends that always be there when i needed sum helps.it's totally different when im now here.i now gotta finish all given stuffs alone,by myself. is it really my fault to not really believing anyone to getting rid off my stuffs ? , so , i dun care how damn hard i try to finish those stuffs as long as i do it by my own self, it's always ok. i hate cooperation that always ends up with a disappointment.

what i can read in mind is " hey i need to share my stuffs or try to have sum lil more remedies to clean up sum shits on me". alrite then. thanks for being so blunt.

oooh. is it really fatal when we're unendurable for handling too much things? is it equal enuff with vulnerability? am too i selfish to think that i'm super bright to handle so many things? is it okay when i cant help myself for this sickness? no?

when i steal 30 mins from my working time to post this blog, i dun think that it's wasting, tho. it's so ok. i feel alrite now. anything's under my control again. what my mind pushed me to do is completely true that i need to share all problems to anyone or anything.it's like to burp when we have a stomach gas problem. it will be fucking suffering when we dun do it, otherwise, it's so beautiful when we do it in the time that we really wannna.

oh shit what has this got to do with me?